Refinished dining table...FAIL

In the past I will admit I have been guilty of sloppy workmanship when it comes to refinishing furniture.  I just get so excited that I rush the process.  So I have decided to take every project from here on out very seriously, slowly, and carefully.  My first attempt was my dining table. 

A craigslist bargain for $20 for a table and four chairs.  I hate that I didn't get any before pics, but just know it was one of the worst fake "wood" laminate tops I had seen in a while.   The owner told me it was originally a conference table for his uncle's law firm in the 70's.  Who knows what kind of juicy cases passed by this bad boy. 

So I took my time to sand it, prime it, put on two coats of paint (making sure it was totally dry between coats).  Then to prevent any wear and tear from plates, bowls and 1 and a half year old I thought a coat of poly would be nice.  FAIL!  All you can see are brush strokes and crackling where I guess I put too thick of a coat.  Was it because I used a matte finish paint and a semigloss poly?  Was my brush no good?  Bah.  I'm sure all you seasoned veterans out there know exactly why this was an epic fail, and if you do I am open to public ridicule.

Boo!

Hiss!

But check out those legs...and that hardware

In the meantime, I'm off to my local hardware store to see if my paint guy knows what's up, and how to fix it.  A little lipstick accessorizing won't hurt until I figure it all out either.

Needs a rug, and a new light fixture...add it to my "we are renting and on a budget" wish list...

After I work out the table issue I'll be moving on to the chairs.  Should be a pretty simple reupholster job since they are basically just upgraded directors chairs.  However, I also thought the table would be easy too...